Week 9

Week 9 was a fairly low scoring week with only 1 team scoring over 100 points and two teams scoring less than 60 points. We have now completed the first round of the round robin schedule and everyone has played each other at least once. Now its time for the “algorithm” to demonstrate it’s value and as Jacob has pointed out “apparently the Kayak Pirates and The Commish can only play if the Cowboys and Giants are playing in real life.

Let’s take stock of what the season looks like after 9 weeks. I am going to describe everyone’s season so far in a song.

The Institute: After starting the year with 4 straight wins, VZ has gone 2-3 over his last 5 games with two of those 5 weeks scoring less than 60 points. Yet because of that start, he is 6-3 and in first place of the league while being 6th in points scored. Mahomes has been mortal with only two outburst weeks and as was clearly documented last week, Davante Adams is on a milk carton. After a 29 point explosion in Week 3, Adams has 6 consecutive single digit scoring weeks and still has the bye week. Jonathan Taylor, the subject of VZ’s much ballyhooed trash talk text after week 4, has not been awful but the realization has probably set in by now that the Colts refused to pay Taylor, then tried to trade him for the moon, then decided to sign him to a long term contract, only to platoon him with Zack Moss. He is contributing but he isn’t making up for Davante Adams being on a milk carton. I mean its so bad right now VZ picked up Jerry Jeudy. That is the definition of desperation.

Song:

Jerry’s Belt Buckle: Umphlett is riding a 4-game win streak as well, although his started in week 2. Now Umphlett does have 3 defenses on his roster so something has to be going good right? Umphlett made a bold trade before Week 5 trading AJ Brown and Alvin Kamara vs. Najee Harris and Travis Kelce. Brown has gone on to dominate the NFL and Kamara has had 3 15+ point scoring weeks since the trade. Harris has done well nothing, and Kelce has been good, but not AJ Brown good. One thing that has been very good is that CeeDee Lamb is starting to really turn it on with three straight double digit scoring weeks. I still think Deebo Samuel is the key here. He has been unreliable, but when he is healthy he is a difference maker. But I still wonder if Umphlett’s trade is going to be the mark of his season. Was it the right decision?

Song:

Kayak Pirates: Another season of ups and downs. They currently find themselves at 5-4, but from a roster standpoint this team has a ton of talent. They just can’t seem to put it all together at the same time. Keenan Allen started the year as basically the #1 WR. He hasn’t scored a touchdown or double digit points for the last three weeks. DeAndre Hopkins opened the year with 4 straight single digit scoring weeks and exploded for 30 in Will Levis’s debut. Tony Pollard had 2 rushing touchdowns in Week 1. He hasn’t scored a touchdown since. And then there is Jahmyr Gibbs, who is probably the single biggest X factor in the league. Gibbs opened the year with six consecutive single digit scoring weeks and then exploded with two 17+ games with Montgomery injured. But Montgomery is back now so what will that mean for Gibbs? He has clearly shown the talent, but will he get the opportunity. As much as these question marks have been a struggle for the Pirates, the reality is that this team is tied to the results of the Miami Dolphins. The Kayak Pirates have scored the most points in the league and that is because of Tua, Tyreek, and I guess Jaylen Waddle. When they are on fire things are good. Can they overcome the other concerns on this roster? One thing is for sure, Jeff and Jacob may be the only people on earth that love the Dolphins more than Hootie.

Song:

The Commish: Oddly, I also have a 5-4 record but have scored the 2nd most points in the league. Losing Mike Williams early hurt, he was going to have a huge year. Tee Higgins and Tank Dell apparently did one of those freaky Friday swaps but apparently it only happens when I put Tank Dell on my bench. Tank Dell has been awesome this year, but I haven’t gotten anything out of it. Tee Higgins hasn’t been awesome and I also haven’t gotten anything out of it (although he did have a huge game in Week 2 that basically helped me pull out a win). The first four weeks were rough, but Travis Etienne and Stefon Diggs have been huge, basically willing me back into contention. And I still think my ace in the hole is Breece Hall. I just think that he is going to do something special. But the biggest issue I have is QB. Trevor Lawrence was supposed to be the leader of the next great stage of this franchise. His high point total all year is 20 and he only has two games of more than 1 passing touchdown. That isn’t going to work. I wanna see you be brave Trevor.

Song:

the icon: Well I am not exactly sure what this team is. Overbay won two to start the year and then lost. They he won two more and lost three in a row. Then he won again. Jalen Hurts has looked awful at times but yet he has scored in double digit points every week and only has one week less than 19. For context the most points I have scored at QB all year is 20. Ekeler and Johnson have been hurt but are back healthy now. DJ Moore looked like a top 5 WR. For about 72 hours. He has 5 straight weeks with 5 or less fantasy points since. I mean I feel like I only have one question: Will the “real” icon please stand up?

Song:

Dirty Mike & The Boys: Well last week Dirty Mike started Royce Freeman and Devin Singletary. They scored a combined 5 points. That pretty much describes how the season is going. Justin Fields has not worked out (outside of one 72 hour period) and is injured now. How is Kadarius Toney still rostered? Its pretty amazing that this team scored 146 points in a single week, but it’s primarily due to the fact that Christian McCaffery is extremely good at football. But I mean it’s almost sad watching the roster crumble around McCaffery. I bet it makes him cry.

Song:

showmedamoney!: Many of you may remember that Billy almost won last year. Actually let’s talk about that, sore subject. You may also remember that Josh Allen is really good at football and is still on Billy’s team. Which means that he is still is dangerous. But as you may notice, his WRs are spastic. I mean who do you start each week? In Week 8 it was Lockett and Pittman on the bench. Week 7 it was Pittman and Meyers on the bench. In Week 5 it was Thielen and Meyers. And let’s not forget that apparently Zack Moss was good and still is good even with Taylor back. David Montgomery may have been the biggest steal of the draft if he can stay healthy. But the only thing that Billy is focused on is the fact that he has lost three in a row. Can he stop the fall?

Song:

KRABS: If I just hold on Dalvin Cook and Rondale Moore are going to break out. Said no one ever. Except KRABS. Sometimes you wonder what exactly makes up the KRABSRI. I mean is it based on math or New Hampshire polling data? The whole Deshaun Watson experiment was destined to fail, but this team was always focused on Justin Jefferson. He was the cornerstone of success and well he is hurt. Kamara has actually done a lot more than anyone thought he would do to try and offset the loss of Jefferson, but things just don’t seem sustainable here. Yeah he has won two in a row, but do we really think that will last? But seriously, why are Dalvin Cook and Rondale Moore rostered? Are we living in the Land of Confusion? P.S. This is an underrated video for 1986.

Song:

The Is The Way: Aaron opened the year with 4 consecutive losses, Joe Burrow looking lost and taking JaMaar Chase with him, and Garrett Wilson going from a top 10 WR to a WR3 after 4 plays. But then he traded Travis Kelce and something happened. Burrow got good again. Chase became a regular at 7-11. And AJ Brown became the highest scoring WR over the past 4 weeks. Yes he has gone 3-2, but something just feels different about the roster. There is literally no margin for error here, but if you are quiet and listen you can hear Jim Ross screaming “wait, is that THE MANDALORIAN’S MUSIC?!?!”

Song:

black is for sunday: Where do we start. I just don’t get it. Lamar Jackson is leading one of the best teams in the NFL and has had some big games. But then he has games where he literally just hands off as random RBs score 50 touchdowns and he watches. Amon Ra St Brown has scored double digit points in every game he has played in except 1 (he got 8). Raheem Mostert was completely ignored and Brent mercy drafted him and he has been the #2 overall running back. Puka was picked up as a free agent and has been the overall #8 WR. How is this team not winning? He even finally dropped Jeff Wilson Jr. And still lost. Is the stench of Jeff still in his locker room? But I think the most curious outcome is Bijan Robinson is it headaches or Arthur Smith? I mean Arthur Smith played football at UNC people. Is anyone surprised that baffling, confusing, and downright depressing things would be related to a coach that played football at UNC? Black hole sun, Won't you come, And wash away the rain?

Song:

Before we get to the awards let’s check this week’s episode of Gridiron Heights:

Manager of the Weak

In an odd move, Billy is requesting heartache in shame. He wants to go backwards so he can go forwards. Billy was adamant that he wanted to be Manager of the Weak this week. I mean he did lose, but there were some other head scratching performances in Week 9. But what the heck let’s just go ahead and give it to him. This will at least be another fact that will show you are not being manipulated.

Move of the Week

Speaking of facts, here is another fact! Taysom Hill is a gimmick! But sometimes gimmick works and well he scored 18 points in Week 9. As a “TE”. He caught 4 passes for 13 yards and 1 touchdown. He was the leading rusher for the saints with 11 carries for 52 yards. And he threw 1 pass for a 3 yard touchdown. So picking him up off of waivers for $12 is a pretty good deal with another TE went for 2X that amount at the same time *sigh*. More facts, see I can say something positive about VZ. I am just shocked that Umphlett let his man crush go.

MVP Rachaad White, Dalton Schultz, Cleveland Defense, Josh Jacobs, CJ Stroud

CJ Stroud – 470 Passing Yards, 5 Passing Touchdowns, 1 2 Point Conversion

Another bad decision, I probably shouldn’t have dropped CJ Stroud for Matthew Stafford. That could haunt me. But boy did CJ Stroud “arrive” in Week 9. What a massive game. The highest scoring game of the year for any fantasy player. Stroud has been a revelation and Houston seems to be turning the entire offense over to him. He has good receivers, a solid TE, and the running game seems to be non-existent. Something tells me this could be real. There is something ironic about Stroud being the choice for KRABS over his keeper Watson. Almost poetic. Congrats to CJ Stroud for winning the Week 9 MVP!

Manager Of The Week

Is that “This is the Way’s” music? As discussed above, this franchise is not giving up and with two consecutive victories (and a matchup with KRABS on deck) could he find himself in 4-6 at the end of week 10? Burrow has been great, but AJ Brown has fueled a massive turnaround after a pretty rough start. JaMarr Chase being injured ins’t helping, but Week 9 was an extremely impressive performance leading to Aaron winning the Week 9 Manager of the Week!

Until Week 10…

- The Commish