Week 14

BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS! BREAKING NEWS!

KRABS lost in Week 14. Cause or Causation?!?!? Ok let's get at it.

I got up at 4:30 AM. I am currently somewhere over Oklahoma (Hannah Oklahoma to be exact. Apparently according to my seatback it had a population of 102 during the 2020 Census). I have been in Arizona all week with JT. I am tired.

BUT IT IS TIME TO FINALIZE THE LAST PLAYOFF SPOT SO LET'S GET FIRED UP PEOPLE!

Let's take a look at the contenders:

• black is for sunday: Brent has been fighting to stay in one of the top 4 spots all year by the skin of his teeth. Things have not exactly gone as planned. He invested heavily into Lamar Jackson and Matthew Stafford has outplayed him (I mean seriously who saw that coming). Jake Ferguson has been a massive pickup and maybe the most important Free Agent pickup all year. McCaffery has been the force that has supported this franchise all year. But he has to win one more time (and not get outscored by Dirty Mike by more than 1 point). It is pretty wild to think that these two teams are essentially tied. I really can't imagine that they would be this close after another week, but then again after Week 13 they somehow got 1 point closer. And Brent Cozart apparently is the master of being tied (and still losing). So let's go ahead and get this out of the way now:

If there is a two way tie for the final spot it looks like the Yahoo rules are the following:

• Total fantasy points (season total).

• Fantasy points scored in the most recently completed matchup.

• Fantasy points scored in the matchup two weeks prior (this continues until the tie is broken).

So assuming this it would mean that Dirty Mike would have the tie breaker because he would have to score more in Week 15 to be tied.

And Brent has to play Billy in Week 15 who is on a serious winning streak. black is for sunday has his work cut out for him if he wants to make it to the Playoffs in back to back seasons.

• Dirty Mike & The Boys: Let's be honest. This team is a total mess right now. They have lost three straight weeks, once to the Mighty Commish and two "losses" via ties. Brent Cozart gave me crap for not covering his "plight of the ties" in enough gory detail in last week's column. He wants everyone to know how painful all these ties has been. I mean I think its sort of funny from a I can't believe it from a statistical standpoint. But I can't get the data right now while I am on this plane so I will talk about the league history of ties in another column. But one thing is for certain: Brent Cozart plays VZ this week. Who can't even set his lineup. I mean Brent has to break the streak and win this week right?!?!? RIGHT!?!?!

• Jerry's Belt Buckle: Umphlett has been like a lurking swamp creature this season just sitting under the surface ready to pounce. And while not really anyone saw him being here, including himself, he now has a real possibility of grabbing the final playoff spot if he can win in Week 15 and the Brenti keep up the Napoleon Dynamite Brothers losing streak. Umphlett made zero trades at the deadline, but Jahmyr Gibbs has been carrying this team, can he do it one more week? It sure would be nice to have some help and getting more than 0 points out of the QB spot would be a start.

Let's just hope there are no brutal beats like this one:

Ok let's get over to the EVC and his Week 14 recap of the Dream Job league!

Welcome to the Week 14 “Dream Job” recap. With the playoffs beginning, here are the matchups,

Lets move onto the awards:

Move of the Week:

I mean seriously, how does this keep happening to me? Blake Corum (let me remind you, the RB2 of the rams) decides to take away all of Kyren’s TD’s and got 25 fantasy points. And the worst of all, Emma decided to randomly start him this week and he decides to do that. Not much more to be said.

Manager of the Week:

James had a resounding performance with 124 points in a thrilling matchup with Hudson. Led by Randy Moss, sorry Jaxon Smith Njigba and Cameron Dicker??? That was kind of crazy but he still pulled out the win.

Manager of the Weak:

I dont think I have enough fingers on one hand to account for how many times I have given alfredo this award. I mean the dude was talking trash at the start of the year and now he is in the trash. Maybe ask Mr. Kris for drafting advice next year, (and hopefully you dont decide to keep your first round pick who was completely useless this year)

MVP:

I have nominated:

Blake Corum (Emma)

Puka Nacua (Derek)

Christian Watson (Everly)

Jaxon Smith Njigba (James)

Joe Burrow (Brooks)

Josh Allen (Robert)

Jake Elliott (Luke)

I have chosen Josh Allen as the week 14 MVP. In a shootout with Cincinnati, Josh Allen had 4 TDs and a resounding 41 fantasy points. He carried the Bills to a win and carried Robert to a win this week. Congrats to Josh Allen on the week 14 MVP! 

Thanks for reading the week 14 recap as we strive to be a better league than the playoffs league.

Until next week…….

-Executive Vice Commish

Before we get to this week’s awards, check out this week’s episode of Gridiron Heights. 

Season 10, Episode 13:

Manager of the Weak

What do Weeks 9, 13, and 14 Rome Odunze performances have in common? They all scored ZERO points in The Institute's starting lineup. If Odunze is active or inactive does it really matter? If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it did it fall?

Understanding who is active or inactive is not a complicated thing. You know The Gold Standard would NEVER start an inactive player...

Move of the Week

I am going to brag about my son. We have been in Arizona all week for MLS Next Fest and JT's team was in the Generation Adidas Qualifier Tournament which is a 32 team tournament and the winner earns a spot in the Generation Adidas Cup. To win they would have had to win 5 games and 5 days and I was so very proud of them. They played some of the top teams around the country and won their first two games and lost to the eventual champion team Chicago Sockers 0-0 (4-5) in PKs. Was pretty wild.

The first game we played we won on a Penalty Kick shootout and JT hit the game winner. He got his picture on Footyaccess for all you cool kids out there. Here is JT's PK from the 3rd game against the Sockers. There were like a couple hundred people surrounding the field. VZ can't even handle the pressure of setting his Fantasy Football lineup weekly and this 15 year old kid is draining goals with people hissing at him. So this week's Move of the Week goes to JT. I am proud of you son!

MVP

Michael Wilson, Jahmyr Gibbs, Puka Nacua, Josh Allen, Jacoby Brissett

Umphlett started Daniel Jones in Week 14. In a must win situation. And Daniel Jones scored 0 points. While Caleb Williams scored 17. On his bench. But don't fret because Umphlett also started Jahmyr Gibbs. And that guy is just awesome. He had 29 points, scored 3 touchdowns, and is single handedly trying to will Umphlett into the Playoffs.

(Editors note: sorry for the quality of this picture, the Airplane wifi is not cooperating)

Manager of the Week

Hey look! It's Billy's new Music Video:

Billy has now clinched the third playoff spot for 2025. And he has won 5 weeks in a row. He has qualified for the playoffs 4 out of the last 6 years. This franchise is a bonafide force that is a true contender this year. The only negative is that he is currently projected to lose his "Most Cookies" award at next year's Draft Weekend. Sigh.

Until Week 15...

-The Commish

P.S. Just in case