Week 5

Bigger disaster in 2025? The Commish or Bill Belichick? I mean woof.

Who has had a worse start to his football season?

• Bill Belichick
• The Commish

I am not sure what else to say. I mean Rico Dowdle looks like Barry Sanders so I mean I am sort of out of words. Let's just move to the next part of the column.

Welcome to the week 5 “Dream Job” recap. We had some very high scorers, as well as some very low scorers this week. But now let’s move onto the awards.

Move of the Week:

Hudson starting Rashid Shaheed. We finally had our first Shaheed bomb in week 5, as Shaheed broke out for an 80+ yard touchdown. This touchdown rose Hudson over Derek giving him the edge in his win.

Manager of the Week:

Brooks had everything go right this week for him. Emeka Egbegbu (insert Gronk butchering his name below) had another outstanding week with 24 points, Ja’marr chase finally did something, and Sam Darnold of all people had 33 points to help brooks score 159 points this week.

Manager of the Weak:

Emma scored only 50 points this week. She got killed with the bye week this week (dont trust your father to put your faith in the bears offense) and had multiple bad games from Jameson Williams and Chris Rodriguez Jr. (when someone starts him you know you have a lot of people in your league)

MVP:

I have nominated:

Jaxon Smith Njigba (James)

Rico Dowdle (Alfredo)

Justin Fields (Hudson)

Justin Herbert (Everly)

Sam Darnold (Brooks)

Dak Prescott (Daniel)

Baker Mayfield (Luke)

I have chosen Sam Darnold as the week 5 MVP. With Michael Penix on bye this week, Brooks needed someone to step up big to lead him to victory. He called on Sam Darnold and he delivered. The whole bucs seahawks game was a shootout, and it benefited many people including Brooks. Congrats to Sam Darnold for winning the Week 5 MVP. 

Thanks you for reading the week 5 recap, as we strive to become a better league than the playoffs league.

Until next week…….

-Executive Vice Commish

Before we get to this week’s awards, check out this week’s episode of Gridiron Heights. 

Season 10, Episode 6 (this one hits too close to home)

Manager of the Weak

Ode to The Commish: The Fallen, The Faithful, The Generalismo

Behold The Commish, once feared, now frazzled —A titan brought low by the fantasy gods’ cruel chisel. Known across the league as The Generalismo, The Gold Standard, I now sit upon a throne of ankle sprains and shattered projections.

Ricky Pearsall? Out. Bucky Irving? Gone before he bloomed. Omarion Hampton? Locked in IR purgatory, collecting dust and pity. Each red “O” on my roster shines like a warning flare, lighting the path of my1–4 descent into despair.

I drafted with wisdom, I schemed with precision, But the injury bug had no respect for my vision. It came for my players one by one, leaving ,me holding waiver wire scraps and a broken run game. My bench? A triage unit. My starters? Survivors of a long, grim march through chaos.

And yet—while others snicker and call my season doomed, I stand tall beneath the weight of bad luck and irony. Because The Commish does not fold. The Generalismo does not retreat. And The Gold Standard—well, gold only shines brighter after fire.

So laugh now, rivals. mock the 1–4 record, the red “O” parade, the fantasy carnage. But when the tide turns—and it will—You’ll find The Commish still here, Plotting, grinding, resurrecting. Because legends aren’t made in September. They rise in November. It just may be November 2026.

Move of the Week

The Indianapolis Colts defense delivered a masterpiece in Week 5, flattening the Raiders 40–6 in one of the most complete performances of the season. They piled up four sacks, two interceptions, and allowed just 228 yards while keeping Las Vegas out of the end zone entirely. The pass rush set the tone early, the coverage unit capitalized, and the entire defense played with an edge that fantasy managers dream about.

For The Institute, led by Veazey, it was the perfect free-agent pickup. While other managers chased trendy matchups, Veazey snagged the Colts D/ST off waivers just in time for their breakout. The move paid off big—one of the highest defensive fantasy scores of Week 5 and a major swing factor in The Institute’s first victory of the year. The Colts’ aggressive, opportunistic playstyle now looks like a sustainable fantasy weapon rather than a one-week wonder.

So yes, “Move of the Week” was well-earned. The Colts defense looks legit, and Veazey’s timing couldn’t have been sharper. Still, one can’t help but notice that the guy who preaches patience every season finally got rewarded for actually acting fast. Maybe that’s the real lesson here: even The Institute can occasionally graduate from cautious to clutch. Congrats to The Institute and VZ for winning Move of the Week!

MVP

Emeka Egbuka, Rico Dowdle, Jonathan Taylor, Kyren Williams, Jalen Hurts

There once was a back named Dowdle,

Who ran like a tank through the muddle.

He piled up 206 yards on 23 carries,

With 3 catches for 28 extra terraces —

His 1-yard TD in the fourth sealed the riddle —

MVP talk now ain’t just a fiddle!

What sort of sick world do we live in right now?!?!? I mean this is just stupid.

Manager of the Week

Hype Train Coming! After scoring a league week high 125 points in Week 5, Brent and black is for sunday finds himself at 3-2 and in the top 4 of the league. Despite the fact that he has rotated through QBs like hot potatoes, this roster looks set for a long run in 2025. His Wide Receivers continue to look strong and Egbuka has been the pick of the draft so far.

Jake Ferguson has been a revelation at the TE position and is looking like the FA pickup of the year. If Brent can solidify the QB position you are looking at a real contender for the first back to back championship since 2016. Congrats to Brent for winning the Week 5 Manager of the Week!

Until Week 6...

-The Commish