Week 4

I figured we could start this week's column off with a little fun with captions. And I mean who doesn't love a good poll. So let me know what you think what is being said or thought in the picture below.

What is KRABS Saying?

• Tony Pollard, Para Todos!
• I officially protest the claim of you having two TVs!
• Wait, this means I won ANOTHER tie!
• THEY'RE EATING THE DOGS!

What is Cozart Thinking?

• Why did I invite him over?
• I guess technically I don't have two TVs
• Milk Was a Bad Choice
• I am going to get Manager of the Weak again aren't I?!?!

What a fun picture. KRABS, such a swell guy.

Speaking of KRABS I thought I would share the next video in his honor because we all know how much he loves Magic.

I don't think I can begin to explain how this was done.

Just like I can't explain how this is true either:

I mean I don't think there is a better stat this year right now then this. This is ridiculously stupid.

I figured I would just share a few stats from players around the league as a FYI. Things I find interesting, surprising, or outstanding.

It's wild to me he had this entire run and was never touched.

And finally, sheesh.

Before we get to this week’s awards, check out this week’s episode of Gridiron Heights. 

Episode 5:

Manager of the Weak

Cozart, lowest scorer 3 straight weeks.

But hey, maybe Week 5 will bring something new?

Move of the Week

Nothing really stuck out this week.  A lot of static lineups WoW during Rivalry Week.

MVP

Jayden Reed, Nico Collins, Tony Pollard, Alvin Kamara, San Francisco Defense

In a game where you only needed 64 points to win, someone scoring 16 is the definition of MVP. KRABS was down 17 points going into MNF and he had JSN and Tony Pollard and Cozart had Tyreek Hill. If you would have gone by just the projections, Cozart would have won by 10. But Tony Pollard had different plans scoring a 4 yard rushing touchdown with 24 seconds left in a game where the Titans were already winning 24-12. In deeper thought, really the MVP probably needs to be Jake Bailey the Dolphins Punter for trying an onsides PUNT after a safety. NFL. What fun.

And obviously this Tony Pollard touchdown gave KRABS the "tie" but because his kicker had less points he got the victory. Some fun history on Ties. Prior to the 2016 season (when we eliminated Ties) there were 38 ties on record. Who had the Most ties? Why KRABS of course.

The first tie after the new rules? Week 11 in 2017. Who was involved in it? Why of course KRABS (and ironically me who was involved in the second most ties prior to 2016).

And KRABS tie victory in Week 4 of 2024 was the 11th "tie" since we changed the rules.

Guess who has the most "tie" victories since we changed the rules? That's right. KRABS.

Guess who has the most "Tie" losses? That's right. Me. Tied with your boy Dirty Mike. Who KRABS has now beaten TWICE in Rivalry Week Matchups on "Ties". David Blaine does it again.

Manager Of The Week

In a sign that this column has gone to completely off the rails I am now awarding the Week 4 Manager of the Week award to The Institute. May God help us all. The Institute has now beaten black is for sunday Nine!?!? consecutive times in Rivalry Week Matchups. That is just unbelievable in this age of Fantasy Football.

Until Week 5…

-          The Commish

P.S. WIX has an AI Image Generator now. I used a description of "KRABS". This is what AI created. I am going to have fun with this.