Week 4
- James Wilson
- Oct 6, 2022
- 4 min read
You know how serious we are at The Commissioner’s Office and I really want to start off this week’s Notes with a very serious announcement.
That’s right people. There is a Bird’s Aren’t Real rally scheduled at Washington Square on October 15th at 5:30 PM. NYC is the most surveilled city on earth.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO TELL YOUR GRANDKIDS? ARE YOU GOING TO TELL THEM YOU
WERE AT HOME?
THE TIME IS NOW
Also I want to thank the one of our readers for sharing this live action shot of the Government actively working on Bird Charging Stations. They are all around us. Be vigilant.
Switching topics, who saw this hit on Monday Night? And now the guy filed a police report against Bobby Wagner? That is just hilarious to me. Somewhere I just can’t sneak the suspicion that Jeff Wilson was involved here.
In other news, not sure how many people noticed, but Umphlett actually benched Najee Harris (his first round pick) in Week 4. It shockingly was the right decision (but not by a lot). Rhamondre Stevenson scored 1 more point than Najee did. Let’s just say that benching your first round pick by Week 4 is not a sustainable victory model. You know what is a sustainable victory model?
Going on Sundae Conversation with Caleb Pressley!
P.S. CONGRATS TO DOUG!
P.S.S I think I am crying watching this.
And finally, can someone please explain to me what is going on here? Brent Cozart rostered two kickers. Have you been hanging out with AJ or something?
Before we get to the awards lets check this week’s episode of Gridiron Heights:
Manager of the Weak
Let’s do the quick version here. Things aren’t going well for Jeff and more specifically Kyle Pitts. Let’s try to cheer Jeff up with some jokes:
Oh that didn’t work? Well what about looking on the bright side, I mean Kyle Pitts could be Allen Robinson right?
Ok that stung a little.
Maybe hope? I mean he does have a 24% target share. I think that’s good.
Ok fine. Let’s do high level satirical comedy then. This has to work. Just pretend you are Robert.
Move of the Week
Come on you guys are impressed right? With that clown Amon-Ra out and DJ Chark out, the saavy and shrewd Commish took a gamble on Josh Reynolds and the connection he built with Jared Goff in LA to emerge as the number one target on Sunday vs. an awful Seattle Defense. And well that long haired hippy TJ Hockenson had the most targets, but Josh Reynolds got 8 targets with 7 catches for 81 yards and a touchdown for 14 points. And if you are tracking my season this year 14 points is like 7X times the average weekly points my WR have been scoring so 14 points is like Hall of Fame worthy. I don’t know about you but that sounds like Move of the Week to me!
MVP Russell Wilson, TJ Hockenson, Justin Jefferson, Mike Evans, Austin Ekeler
It was good to see Russ at least make a pop tart on Sunday (I look forward to some more 5 course meals though) but this week’s MVP is going to go to none other than Justin Jefferson. Why? Not because he has a Fortnite dance or that he scored 20 points. That he somehow was able to counteract this:
Justin Jefferson is one of the most dynamic players in the league and is it possible that his greatness was able to offset the negative juju from KRABS ACTUALLY STARTING JEFF WILSON JR. I mean seriously are you psychotic man? You started him? What were you thinking?
So now I am sure KRABS is walking around all high and mighty like he has done something, but lets be honest. Jeff Wilson Jr. works in mysterious ways and wouldn’t it be just like him to set KRABS up for when he least expects it? I mean I would be even more nervous about what is about to happen to KRABS. Justin Jefferson is good (and won the MVP in Week 4) but how good is he? Is he that good? Sleep with one eye open Justin. Jeff Wilson Jr. is lurking.
P.S. I certainly hope you shared your Toilet Elixir with him KRABS
Manager of the Week
Well even though I hate to do this, I sort of have to give Manager of the Week to VZ for scoring 143 points right? I mean I guess I don’t technically really have to do it, but it feels like it would be suspect if I don’t. I don’t want him thinking that I purposefully don’t let him win positive awards and overwhelmingly target him for negative awards or anything. In Week 4, VZ yet again beat the Hype Train during Rivalry Week. And let’s be honest, the Hype Train has a good team this year and was on a roll. But The Institute has now beat Brent W in 8 of the last 9 rivalry week matchup and lets just say this needs some work to become a rivalry again. Come on Brent W we need you to do something about this!
But looking at VZ’s roster is this whole Miles Sanders thing real? I mean last year he had 0 touchdowns, he has 3 already so that clearly is a adjustment back to the mean but Miles Sanders has been a hope and dream for a while now and just has never materialized. He has 4 straight games of at least 13 carries and he had a whopping 27 carries on Sunday (wow). Could he finally becoming what he was predicted to be for so many seasons (I took him in the first round one year, ouch). It’s hard to imagine a 4th year breakout like this, but you have to really be encouraged by what you have seen so far if you are VZ.
But, Congrats to The Institute for winning the Week 4 Manager of the Week. Ugh. I did it.
P.S. Yes this qualifies VZ for the Week 4 Jose’s Taco Truck Blowout of the Week!
Until Week 5 …
-The Commish
Comments