Week 1

He is still the MVP

We are back party people and no there isn't an AI Commish or Commish 2.0. Just the same ole kind and compassionate Commissioner you have all grown to love and cherish.

This is the start of the 25th season of the Notes so we are certainly proud of that accomplishment and the fact that while other media outlets come and go, The Notes is The Gold Standard for media publications in the Playoffs League.

New for our 25th season, with the launch of the Dream Job Kids league, the Executive Vice Commish will be including his "Notes from the Executive Vice Commissioner's Office" here in this space to provide top tier coverage of the kids league.

Interesting facts from Week 1 of the NFL season

• Turns out adjusting the kickoff touchback to the 35-yard line worked—for once. Teams returned a whopping 75.6% of kickoffs in Week 1, the highest return rate since 2010. That’s a huge spike from last season’s 32.8%.

• J.J. McCarthy looked like a rookie puppet until the fourth—then flipped the switch. He rallied the Vikings with three straight touchdown drives in the final frame, totaling two passing TDs and one rushing TD—making him the first player since Cam Newton in 2011 to post that stat line in his debut.

• D’Andre Swift led all running backs with 95.2% of the RB touches (RBTouch%) in Week 1. Chase Brown was second at 92.0%.

• Chase Brown averaged –0.33 yards before first contact—making every carry a loss or zero gain before he even got going. Rookie Ashton Jeanty wasn’t far behind at –0.32. Ouch.

• There were only two players with over 80% of the routes run and who spent at least 75% of the time in the slot: Khalil Shakir and… Hunter Renfrow.

• Aaron Rodgers matched the record for most games with at least four passing TDs and no interceptions—a mark he shares with Tom Brady. Meanwhile, Pete Carroll became the first coach ever to win his debut with four different teams.

• Daniel Jones and the Colts scored on every one of their seven drives—a feat not seen since… well, never, in an opener. First team since 2013 to do it in both regular and postseason, but in a season opener.

And we all know how much each of you love kickers.

1. Andre Szmyt (Browns)

Welcome to the league, rookie. Szmyt missed the PAT after the Browns took a late lead, then gagged on a 36-yarder that would’ve sealed it. Instead, Bengals 17, Browns 16. Cleveland fans booed, fantasy managers tilted.

2. Younghoe Koo (Falcons)

Ice-cold chance to force overtime? Koo pushed a 44-yarder wide with :02 left in Tampa. Just after Bucs kicker Chase McLaughlin had blown an extra point himself. Atlanta cut him by Tuesday. Fantasy players who counted on Koo’s reliability? Burned.

3. Tyler Loop (Ravens)

Rookie kicker syndrome: Loop missed a crucial extra point, keeping Baltimore’s lead razor thin. Buffalo stormed back, and 41-year-old Matt Prater drilled the walk-off to make it Bills 41, Ravens 40. Fantasy swing? That single point was the difference in thousands of leagues.

4. Cairo Santos (Bears)

Up 17–6 on the Vikings, Santos yanked a 50-yarder that would’ve stretched it to two scores. Instead, J.J. McCarthy caught fire, Chicago collapsed, and Santos goes into Week 2 with a city already grumbling.

5. Chris Boswell (Steelers)

This wasn’t a miss — it was the dagger. Boswell hit a 60-yard bomb with 1:03 left to steal a 34–32 win over the Jets. Nick Folk never got the chance to answer. Fantasy owners who thought they had Jets D/ST sealed up got sucker-punched.

Bonus: Jake Moody (49ers)

San Francisco won, but Moody lost his job. He went 1-for-3 (missed from 27, had another blocked), and the Niners waived him two days later.

Who said Kickers didn't matter!?!?!

Now I am going to hand the mike over to the Executive Vice Commish for his inaugural column!

It’s the time of year for the first honorary kids "Dream Job" league recap, coming to you from the best commish on this planet (editor's note: debatable). Although me losing to one of VZ’s kids week one was not on my bucket list, i am still looking forward to the rest of the year.

Also to point out one thing about Laney vs Robert game. As you should probably know if you checked the league, they tied on points. So normally, the tiebreaker would go to less amount of kicker points. But for I feel like the first time in eternity, they tied on kicker points. So therefore it goes to defensive points which then gives laney the win with only 3. Just to clarify before veazey starts complaining (editor's note: burn).

Also, there was a dispute among Parker and Derek having a trade swapping the wrs puka nacua and keon coleman. I have disallowed that trade due to a request just for everyone to know that happened. I discussed with my dad and we would like to institute (no pun intended) a new rule where if you are under the age of 13 you need parental consent before you can offer a trade in the league. We will confirm with parents of all accepted trades (with managers under the age of 13) and if it is found that there wasn't parental consent prior to the offer of the trade we will veto the trade.

Now moving on to the fun stuff,

Move of the Week

The pickle princess starting Deandre Hopkins. I mean seriously what kind of person thinks to start Deandre Hopkins in the big 2025? The only other option was umplett’s prized possession Josh Palmer, who ended up not doing so hot, so well done on her part. I think we gotta put some respect on Laney’s name as this move guaranteed her to tie robert and win on the tiebreaker.

Manager of the Week

I gotta give it to Parker on this one. He was the only manager this week to surpass 90 points even surpassing 95 points in a dominating victory. Notable players carrying him to victory were Derrick Henry, Kyler Murray and Breece Hall.

Manager of the Weak

I mean Alfredo bro, what happened a solid 60 points put up in the first week. First of all due to Kris not knowing how technology works, he couldn’t even get into the first couple rounds of the draft. Secondly, it was an all around terrible performance from the players. Notable duds include Nico Collins, Mark Andrews, and Travis Hunter.

MVP:

I have nominated:

• Marvin Harrison Jr. (Emma)

• James Cook (Derek)

• Jayden Daniels (Jacob)

• Justin Fields (Hudson)

• Bijan Robinson (Daniel)

• Deandre Hopkins (Laney)

• Derrick Henry (Parker)

I have chosen Justin Fields as the week one fantasy MVP. I mean seriously, no one expected the JETS to win a game with JUSTIN FIELDS at qb. Fields had a solid 27 points for Hudson carrying him to a victory against James. 

I hope you guys find the kids league addition more entertaining and valuable than the normal recap, as we hope to build a league more prestigious than the playoffs league (editors note: ummmmmmmmm). 

Until next week…….

-Executive Vice Commish

P.S. Yes there will be cookies for unused FAAB $s in the Dream Job league.

Before we get to this week’s awards, check out this week’s episode of Gridiron Heights. 

Season 10, Episode 1:

I haven't actually watched Severance is it good?

Is the Apple TV show Severance good?

• Yes
• No

Season 10, Episode 2:

Cut. It. Out.

 Manager of the Weak

I think AJ Brown is still reading a book because he certainly wasn't catching passes on Thursday night. And scoring zero points definitely didn't help Aaron and This is the Way in week 1. Joe Burrow only scored 9 points, Brian Thomas only had 11 receiving yards, but hey Bijan Robinson really was awesome on that first drive. Not alot went right in Week 1, which means that The Institute better be ready for a bounce back performance in Week 2.

Move of the Week

Sticking with our theme above of kicker performances, what the heck lets give KRABS move of the week for drafting Brandon Aubrey who had multiple Field Goals and scored 11 points. In a 7 point victory for KRABS , the kicker selection was massive and was a difference maker in his opening week 1upset victory.

MVP

Josh Allen, Saquon Barkley, Jayden Daniels, Caleb Williams, Derrick Henry

He may paint his fingernails, but Caleb Williams was "hard as nails" on Monday night leading Umphlett and Jerry's Belt Buckle to a massive come from behind victory over The Institute. The Bears lost the game, but Williams had 24 fantasy points and looked spry rushing with 58 rushing yards and a touchdown. There were bouts of inefficiency in the MNF game, but he also started 10 for 10 so it will be interesting to see how he grows in Ben Johnson's offense. But if he is able to be a starting fantasy QB it is a massive storyline for Jerry's Belt Buckle considering he was one of the last teams to draft a QB. High Risk, High Reward. Congrats to Umphlett and Caleb Williams for winning the week 1 MVP!

Manager of the Week

Jeff may have lost the Fantasy Bowl last year, but he started off the 2025 season with a bang as the Week 1 high scorer with 121 fantasy points. Now yes Josh Allen had 40 and scored like half of them in the last 5 minutes of the game, but hey they count regardless. The scary thing here is that Jeanty and McBride basically did nothing and even though JSN had like 58% of the receiving yards for the Seahawks, he only scored 10 points. So there is alot of potential here that is just scratching the surface. Jeanty was a massive topic of discussion in the Kayak Pirate household, will he be the foundation of another great season or will there be more "I told you so" from the peanut gallery of The Flying Cruton et al. None of that matters in Week 1 because Jeff & Jacob are your Week 1 Managers of the Week!

Until Week 2

-The Commish