Week 1

Guess whose back, back again, Shady’s back, tell a friend.

That’s right people, Notes From The Commissioner’s Office is back. The longest consecutively running column in the Playoffs League is here to bring you bar raising news, notes, analysis, and entertainment that you have come to know and love. Week 1 has come and gone and let’s talk about a few of the conclusions from Draft Weekend, the NFL, Week 1, and other topics.

Birds Aren’t Real Did anyone notice what road Brent Cozart’s Sunset Beach condo was on? I find it extremely interesting that no one pointed this out at all during Draft Weekend, but it is all coming together now.

Yes that’s right it was on AVIAN DRIVE.

And what surrounded us while we drafted on Saturday?

That’s right: Birds. Clearly Brent Cozart is an Anti Birth Truther and in bed with the US Government to perpetuate the lie that Birds Are Real. There is no other logical explanation. You need to be on the lookout for Brent Cozart because well, I don’t trust em.

And speaking of Birds Not Being Real, check out this JD reference he dropped in his sermon this past Sunday:

And if I can get serious for a moment, this was a really good sermon. It was about David and Jonathan and the importance of true friendship. I seriously suggest you check it out if you have the time. And I also want to take a second and just tell each of you, thank you for your friendship. This league is literally one of the coolest/most exciting things I do on earth outside of my family and I really do treasure it. I treasure it because of you. Thank you for being a part of it and thank you for being my friend. If I can ever help with anything please don’t hesitate to reach out. I am there for you.

Adrian Peterson vs. LeVeon Bell

Who heard about the big boxing match between Adrian Peterson and LeVeon Bell this past week? I mean wow what sport! Bell got a TKO victory after a hard right hand “rocked” Adrian, but isn’t the bigger story here that two former first round draft picks of KRABS were having a celebrity death match boxing match? I mean doesn’t this story just fuel the narrative that we all suspect that the locker room culture of KRABS is a cancer and that teammates can’t get along and resort to violence and evil? I mean that is clearly the conclusion I come to.

https://www.espn.com/boxing/story/_/id/34567767/leveon-bell-tko-adrian-peterson-clash-former-nfl-running-backs

Before we get to the awards lets check this week’s episode of Gridiron Heights:

Also if you want a laugh watch this interview with Aaron Rodgers (YES OR TRUE!):

Manager of the Weak It wasn’t a banner week for KRABS in week 1.

First Christian McCaffery had an injury scare where he had a shin cut that somehow ended up on the injury report.

Then it came out that George Kittle was injured and unlikely to play in Week 1

Then Cam Akers basically became a backup running back.

Then Clyde Edwards Helaire scored 2 touchdowns on his bench.

Then he lost. To The Institute.

A rough week indeed.

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO BID $22 FOR JEFF WILSON JR?!?!?!?

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS...

But hey Justin Jefferson is good right?!?!?

Move of the Week

Aaron sniping Gabe Davis the pick before me still gets under my skin. I mean it ended up being the different in our week 1 matchup because Gabe Davis scored 14 points in the Week 1 opener and Allen Robinson (who I took 1 pick later) scored 1 point. In fact has anyone seen Allen Robinson? If you have please let me know.

MVP

Josh Allen, DeAndre Swift, Patrick Mahomes, Lamar Jackson, Jerry Jeudy

Some big performances in Week #1 but none were bigger than the two biggest stars in the game today: Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes. They both were critical for their teams, but I am going to give the edge to Josh Allen because he did it on opening night and was just unstoppable. Josh Allen is a force in the game and you could make the argument he is the best keeper in the league. Billy’s entire team is focused on the dual set of skills that Josh Allen brings to the game of Football and his 34 fantasy points led Billy to a Week 1 victory.

Manager of the Week

HYPE TRAIN COMING!

Brent came out strong in Week 1 behind a dominating performance from Patrick Mahomes and Cooper Kupp. Mahomes didn’t seem to miss Tyreek Hill at all throwing for 5 touchdowns in a week 1 smashing of the Cardinals. Can Mahomes keep it up? I mean Clyde Edwards Helaire isn’t going to score two touchdowns every game right? What is interesting is that Dalvin Cook ran really well on Sunday and I have a sneaking suspiscion the Vikings offense could be could this year. And Cook didn’t really do anything in Week 1 with only 10 points. Where does this team go if Dalvin Cook takes off like I expect to happen? The WR pool behind Kupp is a little weak (but hey look at my 5 combined points from WR, they are overrated right), but there is a lot of upside in Brent’s “Hype Train” strategy of drafting basically every rookie in the NFL.

But what was the biggest differentiator in Week 1 for black is for sunday? Well his Bday of course. Happy 40th Birthday Dude!

It’s hard to believe that the NFL is back. It was an exciting (and frustrating) Week 1 and I can’t wait to see what is real and what isn’t with the next slate of games right around the corner.

Until Week 2…

-The Commish